Thursday, August 16, 2012

Put It In Your Mouth

The above reference to the 1996 song by Akinyele actually has nothing to do with this post. Because if I titled this “Vegans are Sexy!” you’d probably keep scrolling through Facebook to look at pictures of acquaintances’ lunches/children/inspiring quote graphics.

What you put in your mouth is important. (Insert joke here. Oh, god, now insert ‘insertion’ joke here?)

Thing is, what most of us shove down our slobbering pie-holes is killing us. (Here we go, vegan rant time!) 

It’s true though. I’m trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE here, asshole.

I know you love meat. You say you can’t live without it. Nomnomnom, goes postmodern caveman.
Postmodern caveman.

I'm not saying you need to go completely vegan (though veg diets save massive amounts of fossil fuels and water every year, considering how much it takes to produce animal meat, not to mention all the animals' lives it saves). I'm saying keep an open mind. Put more greens on your plate. Grab an apple instead of a cupcake. (Or eat a vegan cupcake!)

Here's a chain of thoughts and stats on the subject in bullet points, because bullet points beg to be taken seriously. Plus, there is scientific evidence to support many of these bullet points, and I know how much you love science:

·         One of the most widely promulgated findings from Dr. T Collin Campbell’s groundbreaker The China Study is that an increase in meat eating directly correlates to an increase in chronic disease. Animal proteins can promote cancer growth. The fact is your nutrition directly interacts with the ways your cells operate.
·       Herro, hamburger? Herro heart disease. Herro diabetes. Herro obesity.
·         On the flipside, people who eat mostly plant-based foods tend to be much healthier and avoid chronic disease. Plants pack powerful nutrients. There is absolutely no denying this. Eating fresh, organic fruits and vegetables is good for you.
·         We know this, but why do we still trick ourselves into thinking it’s perfectly fine to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast, a chicken sandwich for lunch (it’s grilled!), and spaghetti and meatballs for dinner? There is lettuce and tomato on the sandwich, you say. Fuck that, I say. You can do better for yourself.
·       Eating bacon cheeseburgers and hot dogs and steaks is stitched into America’s cultural identity. This is a hard thing to shake. We believe that because something has been done in the past it holds an intrinsic value. The short story The Lottery will teach you that this not true, or hell , even The Hunger Games. Speaking of hunger, the meat your grandparents were eating forty years ago is FAR, FAR DIFFERENT than the chunks of meat wrapped in plastic and Styrofoam at Publix. Our country’s agricultural practices have moved, as a whole, from small family-owned farms to factory farmed enterprises, which host a whole slew of issues, from genetically modified chickens to horrifying conditions for these living, breathing animals. (There is a lot of insightful info on this subject. For extra credit, watch Vegucated, Food Inc. and other documentaries that expose the food industry.)
·         The American diet of mostly processed foods is not doing your health, your figure, or your wallet any favors. Sure, zapping a cheap Lean Cuisine in the microwave may seem like a convenient meal solution, but not when you’re racking up medical bills to unclog your arteries or irradiate your cancer-stricken cells.  
No, that's not the Tace Bell breakfast burrito. It's your artery! Weee!
·        Preservatives in your food mean that food can’t properly break down in your body, and you can’t receive the full nutrients. Think about it this way: preservatives “encase” your food so it can stay fresh on supermarket shelves longer (this of course is cost efficient for the supermarket), but that “casing” doesn’t just evaporate once you swallow it. Some research suggests sugars in preserved foods rot inside you, since they can’t be absorbed naturally.
·       What’s that, you don’t like how salads taste? You don’t like grilled zucchini? Try it for a week. Our tastebuds, our palates, amazingly, can change and adapt. Remember your first sip of beer or vodka? Well, maybe some of your fell in love at first chug, but probably not. You probably winced. And now look at you, you lovely, raging alcoholic.
·        These thoughts barely scratch any surfaces on this topic.

Now you really might be thinking, oh god, another vegan diatribe. But maybe not, since you’ve gotten this far. And so I shall reward you, my dear omnivorous friends and animal-loving vegans alike, with some sweet musical inspiration from Akinyele, of the 1996 persuasion. It's a great veggie-eating soundtrack. (MOM, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS! I love you. Thanks for reading my silly little bloggies.)